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My Shade of Spectrum

A site designed by an Autistic adult for other Autistic people, their friends, their families and anyone else connected to Autism

Where are we at?

So this past month has been interesting.

 

I officially got the report through on my own personal diagnosis but I want to write about that separately another time.

 

I have looked at leaving my current profession and working specifically within a job where the focus is purely on Autism.

 

I have decided to have another look at this site. I am not liking that it is still being built nearly a year after I had the idea. I need to be more focused on it and set aside some time each week to working on it. As it happens I have some time over the next week where I can really focus on it so hopefully it will get more information on it.

 

I want this to be an inclusive place though so if there is something that you want me to read up on and write about let me know!

 

Shade

x

Please be patient

It is taking more time that I thought it would to build the site. I realise this would always have been a long process however trying to balance my real job with this is proving tricky.

 

My job places high demands on me with my time and effort and energy. Not something I can do anything about.

 

I am also struggling to find acceptance from the few I have disclosed to about my diagnosis meaning I feel uneasy being completely honest at work with those that could do with knowing based off the reactions these few have given me.

I felt accepted more with mental health issues that I do with Autism. The comments which hurt the most are “you are clearly high functioning” or “you’ve lasted this long without the label, don’t let it define you now”. Whilst these comments seem harmless they hurt.

Firstly functioning labels hurt and I will post more about that another time. You need only look on twitter to see that functioning labels are not well liked within the Autistic community. Secondly I need this ‘label’ as it explains me. The same way you may say you are forgetful as a reason for why you do things, or clumsy, or a chatterbox, or loud….you get the point. I am me and I am Autistic.

 

I have some time off work at the moment as I needed a rest so I hope to have more of the site built over the next couple of days. So please be patient.

 

Shade x

Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to My Shade of Spectrum.

My name is Shade and I am the owner, creator, ideas behind, ideas for, and everything really about this site! If you have come across this site it is because, like me, you are seeking information about Autism and being Autistic. I have found very little support for adults like myself, and my family have found equally as little information about supporting me. So I set this place up and let me tell you why.

 

My entire life I have felt different somehow and for 20 years was led to believe all my difficulties stemmed from mental health issues. 18 months ago I spent just over 2 weeks as a patient on a psychiatric ward, and following this I decided to do something about it. I knew I was not suffering mental illness but this was all NHS professionals said was wrong. I had spent 20 years being told doing something different would make it go away, some therapy, more therapy, more therapy, medication, bigger dosage, different medications…..I felt like I tried everything but this magic ‘cure’ never happened so I decided that I had to look into what I felt was the real diagnosis – Autism.

 

In my heart I knew I needed to look into this. I knew I was Autistic and wanted to prove it. I sought the referral and now have it on paper that I am different from others, but that this difference is not something that needs curing or fixing or that medication will make it go away which is how I had spent 20 years of my life. So many medications for a mental health illness that just did not exist and the lack of time and care put into a full assessment of ME

 

Following that diagnosis I wanted to explore what this meant for me. I knew I hadn’t changed, I was who I had always been, but I wanted to connect to people like me and find support and ask them things but that support doesn’t exist where I live. Small lie. It does. I could go to it if I stopped working because the support groups are between 10am and 3pm which means I cannot go to them and they also only accept people under 30 which means based on age I couldn’t go anyway!

 

I decided to not wallow in this. I connected with people in the UK who have discovered my circumstance is not unusual and thought I should do something about this. The name came about because each Autistic person is different from the next, no two definitions will match, hence shades of the same thing; shades of the spectrum.

 

This site is still being built so please bear with me. I wanted to write this as some people had come across the site and commented on that there was not much on it! I am doing this around my job although I do have a few days off at the moment. If there is something you wish to see, or it raises a question please feel free to get in touch. I am no expert but I will try to find answers if I do not know them.

 

Much love,

Shade

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